Some people laugh, some people cry

You would always laugh and i never saw you cry

Some people live, some people die

I know you lived a wonderful life, and i know that you won't any more, however much i want you to.

Some people run, right into the fire

You would skirt around the edge, and then go in once you'd seen others take the risk.

Some people hide, their every desire

You hid what you wanted. You would rather we had what we wanted.

But we are the lovers

if you dont believe me
Then just look into my eyes
Cause the heart never lies

Some people fly, some people fall

You flew, and stopped me and probably others as well from falling and showed us how to fly.

Others pretend, they dont care at all
If you wanna fight, ill stand right beside you
The day that you fall, i'll be right behind you
To pick up the pieces

You picked up the pieces every time without fail. And you always supported me in my decisions, whether they were right or wrong.

And we are the lovers
I know you believe me
When you look into my eyes
Cause the heart never lies

Because the heart never lies



Goodbye grandma, you had a fantastic life and we will all miss you loads, every day and every time easter rolls around i'll think of how we were the two chocolate fans.
It's pathetic i can't even remember when i last saw you, even though it can't have been more than 2 weeks ago.
It's pathetic i can't bring myself to talk to my dad-your son-for fear of breaking down.
It's horrible one of my main thoughts is 'Oh shit i hope the school doesn't find out' and i can't believe you're really gone.
I'll always remember the talks we had, how you were the only person to take my side and comfort me when i was with my dad and i had an argument with either my step-mum or my sister. You were the only one thee who understood.
I'll always remember you showing me that mug when i was 7, with that frog at the bottom, and i was so fascinated you put it on that shelf and said it was mine.
I'll always remember you giving me and Lola our little patches in your allotment and you giving me the strawberry plants with the pink flowers which you said were the type all the royal family had.
And more than that, you've been so understanding generally, and you've stayed strong even though you lost your memory a bit recently and kept forgetting all the little things. You were doing so well, remembering i don't drink tea, hell you even remembered when Spurs beat Arsenal 5-1 and you told me about it a week later, saying that was how it should be, spurs over arsenal. I'll always remember and treasure those things.

And now i'm crying again, here on my own, just like i have been since i got that call from dad yesterday less than 15 minutes after i'd got in from school. It's funny to think that you died while i was doing an exam. You always told me my education was the most important thing. The text i got from Dad at 2pm was telling me you were very ill. I thought he just meant you had a bad case of the flu or something. I also had a text from my mum saying basically the same. I'd just come out of a latin test at 4:30 when i called dad back to find out what was happening. 
He wouldn't tell, he wouldn't say you were dead, he wouldn't say what very ill meant. I had two of my friends with me at the time. They were laughing and mucking around. I wanted to join in-normally i'm the one laughing the hardest. But i couldn't because i had so many thoughts in my head. 
Thoughts like I guess i'm not going over dads. Joy, now i have to get the bus with Andrew. Maybe i should stop at tescos, get some flowers or that chocolate  to give to grandma when i go see her. I hope she's better for my birthday. Dad sounded wierd, maybe it's really serious. Oh my god, what if she dies, what will i do with my exams? Will the school know? Oh god i hope not. Why am i even thinking about this? Grandma was really good last time you saw her. Oh shit i'm gonna start crying. Why the fuck couldn't dad tell me what was happening? Ok this day started really well, i freaking beat Miss French in that french game thingy on the ds! I did really well on that latin test!

And it was getting worse. i was so worried.

When mum got in at 5:15pm i asked her about 100 questions. I showed that leaflet i got about ordering arsenals new home kit for the next two seasons. I was still in my uniform, my whirt and gold, red and orange tie. My navy blazer with my oyster card sticking out the pocket. My black trousers and the trainers i'd put on to go home in. The ones you said you liked. The black nike ones with pink bits and a white sole.

She got the phone and sat me down.

And dad was on the phone. The first thing i said was 'What the hell is going on?'
And he replied, 'lauren, you grandma's dead.'
Then i said 'What?' I 'd heard what he'd said. But i heard my voice go up about 3 octaves anyway. dad started to reply but he couldnt. 
I just broke down completely, crying into my mum's shoulder. I could hear sarah trying to talk to me over the phone but i couldn't reply. 
I was crying for ages. My mum told me to get changed. I was still in my uniform. I just threw myself on my bed and cried. 
My grandpa called after about five minutes. My mum told me it was him. I refused to talk to him, i was too upset. 

When i came down my mum told me what had happened. She said that you'd been fine on thursday, playing with the girls. She then said that yesterday, June 6th, you were feeling tired so grandpa told you to have a rest. You went to sleep and you never woke up.

I don't think i's sunk in yet. You're gone. you're dead. And soon i'm going to have to go to your funeral. And soon i'm going to have to face my dad and my grandpa. I've isoloated myself, eventhough i know you wouldn't want that. I just don't think i can cope. 

I've got mcfly on repeat. The Heart Never Lies.

i went to see them exactly six months ago yesterday. They dedicated the heart never lies to one of thier friends who had died the day before. 

It brought tears to my eyes. To see them so close to crying on stage in Wembly arena. Tom Flitcher had tears on his face when the song finished. 

Just like i have now.

Goodbye grandma, 84 years of joy have come to an end. 

And we'll miss you for that long i'm sure